129.从不抱怨
129.从不抱怨
从不抱怨。抱怨往往会损害名誉。最好做一个依靠自己、反对抱怨的模范,而非被同情的对象。抱怨可使聆听抱怨之人效仿我们所怨之人;抱怨一次被欺侮就将为别人下一次欺侮我们提供借口。本想得到他人的帮助或建议,却只得到漠视和轻蔑。称赞某人给你的恩惠则更加高明——听的人就会觉得有必要效仿那个人。诉说不在场的人给我们的恩惠,就等于在要求听者给我们同样的恩惠。这样,后者就会接着前者给我们恩惠。所以,明智之人是从来不会宣扬自己的失败或者缺点的,他们只是宣扬别人对他的照顾,以维持友谊,遏制敌意。
129.Never complain
Never complain. To complain always brings discredit. Better be a model of self-reliance opposed to the passion of others than an object of their compassion. For complaining opens the way for the hearer to what we are complaining of, and to disclose one insult forms an excuse for another. By complaining of past offences we give occasion for future ones, and in seeking aid or counsel we only obtain indifference or contempt. It is much more politic to praise one man's favours, so that others may feel obliged to follow suit. To recount the favours we owe the absent is to demand similar ones from the present, and thus we sell our credit with the one to the other. The shrewd will therefore never publish to the world his failures or his defects, but only those marks of consideration which serve to keep friendship alive and enmity silent.